A Letter From The President
From the April 2003 Newsletter
Bob Dorr, PFLAG Omaha
Posted on April 1, 2003
Well, this is no surprise: Kathy England organizing a support group for families of American military men and women mobilized for the war in Iraq.
Kathy, a former president of Omaha PFLAG, has given lots of time and effort for more than a decade in supporting gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender people and their parents. Dave, her husband, is a facilitator for the PFLAG-sponsored Proud Horizons youth support group.
Now Kathy is drawing on her memories of being a young mother of twins in 1971, when Dave operated electronic equipment in B-52 bombers during the Vietnam conflict. With Dave gone, Kathy remembers being overwhelmed. Dave's paychecks stopped because of an Air Force glitch. The pay delay stretched to three months. Kathy had a part-time job that didn't cover expenses.
Kathy didn't know where to turn. She struggled through those difficulties on her own. She now is helping people whose lives have been disrupted by the war against Iraq--matching available resources with people who need help. A recent front-page story in The World-Herald told about her efforts to keep people from reaching the low point that she reached 32 years ago.
Kathy's in a wheelchair recovering from ankle surgery because of severe arthritis. But she hasn't slowed down. Of those she is trying to help, Kathy said, "It's important that they know there are people who care and will help."
Meanwhile, as these words are written, the fighting in Iraq thankfully is winding down, and the task has become one of restoring basic security and services to the Iraqi people. As in every past war, America's brave fighting men and women include many who are gay and lesbian; despite our government's irrational policy of excluding them.
The United States armed forces deem open homosexuality a risk to morale, good order, discipline and unit readiness. The military has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Gay servicemen and women who reveal their sexual orientation or are found to be homosexual are subject to discharge.
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an advocacy group that represents gay men and lesbians trying to serve their country, has disclosed that the military discharged at least 10 linguists, seven of them Arabic-speaking, because of their sexual orientation.
As the Washington Post pointed out in a recent editorial: "Overall, gay discharges actually declined last year;as they typically do when the country faces war and cannot afford to spend its time on witch hunts. But the progress has been spotty. So even as some gay men and lesbians are being tolerated temporarily while they help liberate Iraq, others are being kicked out of military language training.
"This is an enormous waste of human resources, at once self-destructive and unjust. The military cannot afford to brand as unfit for service qualified men and women who wish to put their talents, whether those lie in combat roles or languages, in the service of their country."
Servicemembers says that the number of gay discharges dropped nearly 30 percent last year, the largest drop since 1996. "It highlights the hypocrisy of this, that in times of war when we need people, it's perfectly fine for gays, lesbians and bisexuals to serve. But in times of peace, they can be discharged," says the group, which advises gay soldiers filling out military life insurance forms to describe the beneficiary partner only as a "friend."
Congress enacted the "don't ask, don't tell policy a decade ago. Recruits can not be asked their sexual orientation, but evidence of homosexual conduct can be turned over to unit commanders for fact-finding investigations.
Twenty-four foreign militaries have lifted their bans against gays, lesbians and bisexuals including the U.S.'s biggest ally in the Iraq war, Britain.
As our troops return, gay and lesbian military members will have to exercise restraint no one expects of the straight soldiers they fought beside.
In a Los Angeles Times story, the partner of an airman mobilized for the Iraq war said: "The goodbyes are not the hardest part. It's the hellos. The first time you see your partner in five or six months. It's very emotional. And you have to shake hands."
Let's all hope for an early end to "don't ask, don't tell."
At PFLAG's May 8 support meeting, our speaker will be Jon Lindgren of Fargo, N.D., PFLAG's director for the region that includes Omaha. Jon is a volunteer, as are all of us in the Omaha chapter. He gives his time serving PFLAG on the national board of directors, helping start new chapters in his region and visiting local chapters for an exchange of ideas.
We are hoping some members of the PFLAG chapters in Lincoln and Hastings will come for the meeting. Jon planned to speak at our March meeting, but a family emergency delayed his trip. We're looking forward to this visit.
Betty and I are profoundly grateful to all of you who voted for us, enabling us to become the Grand Marshals of this year's Pride Parade. We truly believe that the votes we received were for all parents, not just us, who fully accept their gay children as wonderful creations of God.
This year's Pride festival, with an expanded program of events, will begin Friday, June 20. The traditional parade, at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, June 21, will start at 10th and Pacific Streets. The tents and stage will be on Fifteenth Street between Leavenworth and Jackson Streets.
A huge rainbow flag in the original eight colors will be a centerpiece of this year's parade, and in future parades. The flag measures 20 feet by 48 feet.
Mark the Pride dates on your calendar, and plan to march behind the PFLAG banner.
Bob Dorr, president
